My Body Issues?

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Okay, so today I'm going to write a post that is very personal to me, and quite hard to write. I've seen a lot of posts recently about weight and size, and how people should be able to be any size that they want without abuse and bullying. I totally agree with this, but in today's society it can be hard to get along in life if you aren't the 'perfect size' advertised by the media.
As far back as I can remember, I was always a 'chubby' child, a bit bigger than the other kids with a round face. When you're young, nobody thinks about size, children don't judge each other based on appearance and how 'beautiful' they are. I felt fine, I was happy in myself. Then in the later years of primary school I got a little bit bigger and started to get bullied for being 'fat.' Obviously this started to affect me, as it isn't nice to be left out or called because of how you look. I don't know how much I weighed back then, as I never weighed myself as a child, but I wasn't what you'd call 'obese' just a little overweight as some children can be.
I went to high school and was also bullied there. My form group was awful, full of horrible, chavvy boys who were complete bullies (just gonna point out that they've now got nowhere in life and I'm doing a Politics degree.) It was always really intimidating to go into the form room and sit there. Now in high school, people start to think about 'girlfriends' and 'boyfriends' and people start to get judged on how they look. I can honestly say that nothing is worse than being the fat, ugly girl. I lost a bit of 'puppy fat' as I got to the later years of high school but I was still 'fat.' What hurt as well was when people thought they could make a casual comment about your weight, but then didn't understand why you got upset. If people who are considered 'fat' want to joke about their weight then they will do it themselves, it's not anybody else's job to comment on their weight. People just do not understand how much weight can affect some peoples lives.

The above picture is my year 10 photograph at school. Looking back, I don't see what all of the fuss was about. I don't look massive. However, at the time, when so many people are telling you that you are 'fat' you start to believe them.

This picture is me at my year 11 prom. Prom is a day when girls are supposed to feel beautiful about themselves, yet I didn't. I was a large size 12/small 14 at this point, which I know isn't a large size however it was slightly too large for my frame. Shortly after prom I started to exercise 5 days a week and go on a diet. I started out at 10 stone 5, at the end of it I became 8 stone 10. It took me a lot of hard work and determination to lose the weight.

This is what I looked like afterwards. I was a size 8. The most sickening thing after losing the weight and also getting contact lenses, was the fact that people who had previously branded me 'fat' now thought that I was fit/attractive. The size of a persons body, does not determine whether that person is beautiful or ugly. I have always been the same person inside and I find it disgusting that all you have to do is lose weight and lose your glasses to become 'attractive.' I lost the weight for me, not for anyone else, and certainly not to become 'attractive' to shallow people. That was 2 years ago.

Right now I weigh about 9 stone 3 and am a size 10. I am currently aiming to lose a couple of pounds as I feel better when I am that bit thinner. However, I am never happy with my size or the way I look. What people don't understand is that when you bully someone for the way they look, it can leave deep scars that can take years to disappear. I may have lost the weight, and no longer be 'fat' but I haven't lost the deep-seated hate for the way I look. Even when I dropped right down to 8 stone 10 I thought that I was still fat. Looking back at the photos now, I can see that I was very slim, but at the time I just could not see it for myself. Bullying is a sickening thing; people do not have to change their size if they do not want to. A persons   body is nobody else's business

My hair Journey

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Okay, we'll start right at the beginning, this is me at around 3 years old, I had natural curly golden blonde hair with a block fringe. As I got older my hair turned to a mousy colour with natural highlights.

When I was 13 I dyed my hair black (big mistake!) I was going through a phase lol, my hair was actually down past my boobs which is the longest it has ever been. I soon changed my mind about the black and unfortunately had to cut my hair into a short style and have it brown.(no picture as it was awful.)

Then when my hair had grown out a bit, I dyed it bright red, which I kept for awhile, but again I decided that I was fed up of the colour.

When I turned 16 I dyed my hair brown with a blonde fringe, and then later dyed it all brown, however my hair annoyed me because when the dye faded the red colour could be seen underneath.

At the start of college I used a colour remover and then visited the salon in order to have blonde hair, I gradually kept going lighter with bleach, the lightest I had it was white blonde.

I was sick of the contrast when my roots grew in, so I returned to the hairdressers and asked for a dark blonde colour, like my natural colour. This was what I got, a mid/dark brown- not what I asked for at all.

The colour faded to a light gingery colour, and the lengths went green, my hair was horrible. I visited a different salon who told me that my hair was damaged- quite contrary to what I was told by my previous hairdressers who said my hair was in great condition and kept using bleach on it. I had to have my hair cut off, into a short bob like above.

I wanted my hair blonde again, but I was told to wait, and I hate waiting. I dyed my hair a chocolate brown colour and got clip in extensions (then later a weave.)

I let the colour fade out to a light warm brown colour. I tried to go blonde with a lightener, but my hair went dark and ginger, I dyed it mid-brown.

And now, this is my hair, a mid blonde colour with some warmth to it, I am so happy that I managed to achieve this myself, ever since my hair was dyed brown from light blonde(which I didn't want) I have wanted my hair a blonde colour, I am going to get highlights put through my hair, but I am not going to go as light as last time.

I know a lot of people will think that it is damaging to dye your hair so many colours, and I agree that in the past I have damaged my hair, however since I got my hair cut off (again) my hair has been in good condition, probably due to the fact that I use no heat on my hair any more and I use protein treatments on my hair. I have now promised myself that I will not change my hair colour again, as since I had black hair I have always wanted to be blonde.

My New Hair

Monday, 17 September 2012

Hey guys, this post is going to be all about my new hair! A year ago my hair was blonde, but then I had it dyed brown, I've really wanted to get back to blonde as I felt more confident when I was blonde. A month or so ago, I used a Garnier lightener to try and go blonde and my hair went a horrible dark ginger colour, so I had to dye it back to Mid Brown. I decided to go blonde again because I wanted to be blonde in time for starting university, however I didn't want to be practically white blonde like I was last year because it is too damaging.
I went blonde at home with help from my mum, I know it is advisable to go to the Salon, however I did not have the money to go to the salon, and often don't enjoy the experience. I only used two products to get my hair blonde

The first product that I used was the Decolour Stripper, this is £12.99 and can be bought from Boots. My hair is only just past my shoulders and there was only just enough product in this to cover my hair. I mixed the Powder and developer into a green paste, applied to my hair and left on for an hour. I then followed the rinsing instructions. After using the decolour stripper my hair was a very yellowy blonde, however my natural light brown hair hadn't lightened.

I then used the Garnier Belle Colour in 7.1 - Natural dark ash blonde (don't know why the picture says ash brown.) This can be bought from body care for £3.50. This had to be left on for an hour. I used an ash blonde shade to neutralise any yellow and orange tones in my hair. This also lightened my roots which hadn't been lightened by the stripper.

Hair as it was before

The result

I am very happy with how my hair has turned out, I only spent around £16 on my hair, if i visited a Salon it would be around the £40 - £50 mark (maybe more because the hair required pre-lightening.) My hair is also very soft and in good condition, I would recommend the decolour stripper to anyone who is looking to achieve a lighter hair colour. In a few weeks time I will probably get a half head of highlights just to achieve a multi-tonal blonde look, but I am happy to have all of my hair this colour until then :)

Shona xx

FOTD + Update

Friday, 14 September 2012

Hey guys! Today I'm popping along to the opticians, which means no eye make-up for me! I just thought I'd share my make-up with you as I've kept it very simple and fresh today. The foundation I am using today is the Bourjois 10 hour sleep effect in 71 (expect a review of this soon!) I am also using the Bobbi Brown corrector in porcelain bisque and collection 2000 concealer in fair to cover dark circles and blemishes. I have used the sleek contour kit in light to contour and highlight my face and the sleek blush in rose gold. I have just gone through my eyebrows with the HD brow kit in Foxy. On my lips is Revlon Just Bitten kissable balm stain in Lovesick. Then I've just finished my make-up with mac fix+. I've been going for the more natural look recently as I feel it's quick and easy to do, although normally I would have used some eye make-up!

My Life has been pretty busy at the moment, last month I got my A level results (ABB) and found out that I had got a place in Lancaster University to study Politics and Sociology. It's pretty scary to think that in a couple of weeks I will have moved out on my own for the first time. I've also quit my job at Debenhams because I don't want to come back every weekend to work and I've also not been enjoying working there for a long time. I move into uni on the 30th September, which is such a late start compared with most other UK universities. The thought of being all alone with nobody that I know is daunting, but I'm sure that most people feel like that! I'm going to be focusing more on my blog and I've got lots of ideas for new blog posts so hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things! I'm also going to blog about my uni experience so look out for those posts!

Shona xx

Disco Pant Dupes

Sunday, 22 July 2012

I think by now we all have heard about the American Apparel disco pants, due to the hype that has been surrounding them. Something that people aren't so excited about is the £70 price tag. If you don't know what disco pants are then think of Sandy in Grease and her skin-tight black shiny pants. Tah-dah, there you go. Now these pants aren't for everyone, but some people who would love to try these pants may be put off by the price. are selling dupes of the AA disco pants for £29.99, which is a fraction of the price. They are avaliable in black, royal blue and pewter. I bought some of these myself in black, they have the zip at the front and pockets at the back which makes them look exactly the same as the AA pants! The material of these pants is a little thinner than the AA's, but when on they look just the same. I was so happy to find these dupes, as I wanted a second pair of disco pants but couldn't afford the £70. I bought these pants in a size 10 and I am a size small in the american apparel disco pants.

Will you be snapping up a pair of these?

Shona xxx

June favourites!

Saturday, 30 June 2012

Hi guys, first of all I would like to apologise for not blogging in the past couple of weeks, I have just had my A level exams, but now I have finished them I should be up to speed with everything.

1. Joico K-Pak reconstruct treatment - (feel unique) £14.95
My hair is in serious need of some TLC! For years I have coloured and bleached my hair and I have paid the price for it. Currently my hair is quite dry, but leaving this treatment on my hair for half an hour after washing really does make a difference. My hair is soft, shiny and doesn't feel damaged. I don't know what I would do without this product, I have repurchased it, which is a first for me and hair products!

2. Healthy Sexy Hair Soy Tri-Wheat leave in conditioner - (feel unique) £11.05
One thing I have always neglected when it comes to haircare is a leave in conditioner, after hearing Estee ( reccomend this leave in conditioner I decided to try it. Not only does this de-tangle my hair nicely, it also leaves my hair feeling soft and conditioned. I also like the smell.

3. Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua- (debenhams) £32
Foundations are something that I love to try, however I have never found my perfect foundation. I tried this foundation after much deliberating and I have to say I love it. This foundation blends in to the skin perfectly and gives a nice natural glow to the skin. This foundation is not heavy and cakey and has converted me from full- coverage foundations. This may just be my 'perfect' foundation.

4. Loreal Superliner Perfect slim - (boots) £6.99
I've always loved to wear black eyeliner and recently I've been drawn to 'pen' liners as they are quick and easy to use. This liner has such an intense black colour to say that it is a pen liner. This is a winner for me.

5. Hd  Brows Kit - (hd brows) £19
I used to use the benefit brow zings, however the powder included was too red toned for me and I wanted to use another product so I turned to the HD Brows. The colours in 'Foxy' are perfect for my brows and the colours can also be used as eyeshadows!

6. Tweezers with attitude - (ebay) £3.09
These tweezers are by far the best I've used. They're also really cute because they come shaped into different girls. Mine were limited edition christmas tweezers, but there are plenty of other styles on ebay.

It was quite hard to choose favourites this month as I am still loving a lot of the products from last months favourites!

My Weave Experience

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Hey guys, in this post I thought that I'd let you know about the experience that I had with my weave. I would just like to say that this is my personal opinion from my personal experience.  I got a weave in January from Weave got Style in the Trafford Centre (there are a couple more across the UK.) My weave cost £240 (the prices have now risen), which included the 16 inch hair that would be used in the weave, and the application. My hair was just below chin length when I got the weave, so obviously I didn't want to opt for longer than 16 inches as I thought that it wouldn't 'fit' with my hair.
I went to get my weave done and it took around 90 minutes, Three rows of hair were put into my head. Hair where the weave was going to be placed was braided and then the hair was sewed into the braid. My hair was then styled and curled.

                                                              (my hair with weave)

My hair with the weave looked fine with how it had been styled, but when I washed it and styled it myself, it became apparent that the top row of hair had been placed too high, and I didn't have enough of my own hair left on top to cover it. Also, (as you can see in the picture) you could see all of my short hair underneath the weave, and just couldn't cover it.
I phoned up about my hair, and then went back in, they lowered the top two sections of hair, and also added a fourth strip of hair below the others, all for free. This did help to hide my own hair better, and I was pleased that they had been understanding and had offered it to me for free.

                                                           (hair after going back)

As you can see, my hair is blended better on the second picture, but I still thought that my short hair was noticeable sometimes. For £240 I would want the weave to blend seamlessly into my own hair and look perfect, as it is a lot of money to pay! I also found it really hard to wash around the hair where the wefts were sewn into the braids. The weave also took ages and ages to dry, which wasn't great if I wanted to wash my hair in a rush. I also felt that the quality of hair was fine, but didn't compare to the quality of the FoxyLocks hair extensions.
I eventually got fed up of the weave and took it out, when I did, I could see that I had patches of horrible dry, flaky skin on my scalp where the braids had been- not a nice thing. My hair was old greasy where the weave had been sewn in, showing that you're not able to wash your hair properly where the hair is sewn in.
All in all, I do not believe that this was not worth £240 and I would not pay for it again. I love my FoxyLocks clip in hair extensions, and I personally think that they blend into my hair better and look more natural. People may think that weaves are a quick fix solution (as I did) but if you would like a weave, then I would consider other alternatives first!

Shona xx

Mini Body Shop Haul

Monday, 11 June 2012

Hey guys! Today I popped to the Cheshire Oaks outlet in Ellesmere port, and whilst there I ventured into the Body Shop store. I got some amazing bargains in there because if you buy two items you get 30% off, if you buy three you get 35% off and if you buy 4 or more items you get 40% off! I bought 6 items so I received 40% off everything, and saved around £20.
I bought a rounded face brush, as I have been wanting to try one of these for awhile, I think using one of these will give my face a really good clean. I bought a large Coconut body scrub, as at the minute I'm really trying to keep my skin soft and supple, so a good scrub is something that I've needed to invest in. I also bought a bath lily as the one I have needs replacing. The next three items that I bought are from the body shops new 'Chocomania' range. I smelt one of the chocomania products and I felt like I was in heaven! The smell is divine, lovely and chocolatly and scrummy! Anyway, from this range I bought; the body lotion, the shower cream and the beautifying oil which can be used on hair, face and skin. All in all, I'm really happy with what I bought, as I'm able to try out some new, yummy products with 40% off.

Shona xx

My thoughts on Glossybox!

Sunday, 10 June 2012

Hey Guys, in this post I've going to be giving my thoughts on the Glossy box subscription. I've been subscribed to Glossy box for 5 months, and the box costs £12.95 a month including postage, inside the box you get 5 miniature products and sometimes Glossy box have special boxes. You receive one box per month, and it comes in a light pink Glossy box. Inside the box is your 5 products and a card about the products.
As I said, I have been subscribed to Glossy box for 5 months and therefore have received 5 boxes, 2 of those being special edition boxes. Personally, I have not been impressed with the Glossy box. In most of the boxes that I received I have repeatedly received shower gels and lip glosses. I signed up to Glossybox to receive 5 different luxury samples a month, and I do not think that shower gels count as a luxury product, especially when  I have received them in 4/5 boxes. I also do not like lip glosses, so that fact that I have been sent multiple lip glosses annoyed me also. Another thing that annoyed me is that every month, I received my box, then looked online at what different bloggers and vloggers had received, and it appeared that every month, the well known bloggers would get much better products in their boxes, and often multiple full sized products. For example, In the June box I received; a shower gel sample, perfume sample, skin cream sample, a hair treatment sample and a full sized product (eyelashes worth around £4.) After looking online I saw that people had received HD brows products (worth £15) and as well as that, either eyelashes or a full sized collection gel eyeliner. Now to me, that is not fair, I am paying the same price as anyone else, so therefore I think that people should get the same products. Why should people receive a box worth at least £10 more than mine?
Anyway, I have unsubscribed from Glossy Box as I felt that I had given it a fair try, and I have now subscribed to Jolie Box, so I am looking forward to seeing how I get on with that subscription. After I have been subscribed to Jolie Box for a few months I will let you know my thoughts!
Shona xx

May Favourites!

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Hey guys, I'd thought that I'd start doing regular monthly favourite posts, this month it was quite easy to choose my favourite beauty products. I've been using quite a few new products recently, so I've had a wide selection to choose from.

As you can see in the photo above, I have chosen nine products which I have loved this month. My favourites are in no particular order.

1. Nivea Visage Daily Essentials Night Cream - £4.35 (boots)

The first thing that I have been loving this month is the Nivea Visage Night Cream. I was running low on my night time moisturiser so I decided to pop into boots and see what they had to offer, I saw this night cream that is suitable for dry skin and was also as cheap as chips! I have been using this cream every night after I cleanse my face and I have to say - it is wonderful! This cream is very moisturising without being heavy or greasy and it really does leave my skin feeling soft and nourished. I think the price tag for this product is absolutely amazing as well.

2. Maybelline Dream Smooth Primer - £8.99 (boots & superdrug)

I bought this primer because I used to really neglect using a primer before my foundation, I have used the MUA primer, but I feel that it just disappears into my skin and does absolutely nothing. This primer has a smooth gel-like texture and a little bit goes a really long way. My skin does feel really smooth and primed when I use this product. The price of £8.99 does seem quite steep for a drug store product, however I do feel as though you get what you pay for when it comes to primers.

3. Rehab Shampoo - £9.95 250g (lush)

I decided to get this shampoo because I wanted to try and use more natural products whilst trying to rejuvenate my hair. 'Rehab' caught my eye because it claims to repair your hair and scalp. This shampoo has a really nice smell that to me smells citrus-ey and herb-aly. When I use this shampoo with Lush's Retread conditioner my hair smells amazing for days. My hair has been really soft and silky and healthy since I've started using this shampoo and I will be repurchasing when it runs out (although a little goes a long way so that won't be for awhile.)

4. Models Own Nail Varnish 'Lilac Dream' - £5 (boots)

This is a really pretty colour on the nails, It is a lilacy-pink colour and I have been wearing it a lot this month. I think that the Model's own Nail varnish formulas are really good, as the varnish tends to stay on the nails without chipping for quite awhile.

5. Real techniques buffing brush - £21.99 (as part of set) (boots)

I bought the Real Techniques core collection kit from Boots, as I had heard plenty of good things about the Real Techniques brushes. These brushes are so cheap compared to brands such as Mac, Sigma etc. The brush is made from synthetic hair and is really soft on the skin. This brush is great for applying liquid foundation to my skin and it leaves a really flawless finish.

6. Bobbi Brown Corrector - £17.00 (selfridges, john lewis, online)

I have this in the shade 'Porcelain Bisque.' I think that the shades available are really great, as my shade is almost 'off-white' and great at correcting my bright circles. This corrector is great at covering my under eye circles and it doesn't go 'cakey' as the formula is not too thick. I have been using this every day and I am loving it. Anything to help my dark circles is a miracle for me.

7. Sleek Blush 'Rose Gold - £4.30 (superdrug)

I had been after this blusher for ages, it's a wonderful shimmery pink with golden undertones. This is such a pretty colour and it suits my skintone really well. The price is really great for this blush as you get 8g of product as well, so it will last ages even with daily use.

8. Dark Plum Lipstick - 50p

I have been loving this lipstick loads, I purchased it from a market in my town for 50p and it is an amazing lipstick- especially for the price. The liptick is so creamy and pigmented, which is great for me because some lipticks really dry my lips out which is not a good look. I'm sorry that you guys can't buy this lipstick but I just wanted to include it.

9. Colorsport 30 day mascara (dark brown) - around £5.00 (bodycare) £8.25 (boots)

I used this product to dye my eyebrows in order to make them appear thicker and need less 'filling in.' The results from this product were amazing, in just a few minutes my eyebrows were a darker brown and looked 100% thicker than they did before. I can not rave about this product enough and I totally reccomend it if you want darker, thicker brows.

Okay guys, so that's the end of my May favourites post! I'm sorry that so many items were included but I've been loving so many things this month.

Shona xx

OOTD- Smart & Suave

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Hey guys, this post is just going to be about the outfit that I wore today. I spent today at college and that shopping at the Trafford Centre, so I needed an outfit which was both practical and stylish. The outfit that I put together is very androgynous which is a look that I enjoy to wear.

The Blouse that I wore is a white, sheer, long sleeved blouse with Gold collar tips (as shown above.) I love this blouse because it's so simple, but the collar tips just add a touch of interest to any outfit. I bought this from ebay from a seller from Hong Kong so it was very cheap, but I do feel that the quality is good. I also wore a pair of printed tapered trousers that I Bought from Asos. The print is reg and blue and very eye catching and daring to wear. Because I teamed the trousers with the plain blouse I felt that the outfit didn't feel too 'busy.' The scarf that I wore has a horse print all over it, I picked this up from a Jumble sale for 50p, and I feel that it is one of my best buys.

These are a pair of very masculine burgundy 'brogue-style' shoes which I picked up from primark on sale. I absolutely love these shoes and I fell in love as soon as I saw them.

Both the ear cuff and the earrings I am wearing are from Topshop, I am loving their Jewellery at the moment, it's all I seem to be wearing at the moment!

The bracelet is also from Topshop and the ring is from New Look.

I really loved the outfit that I wore today, I feel as if it worked really well and I got to wear my new shoes from Primark :)

Shona xxx

OOTD 29/05/12

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Hello! I just wanted to share the outfit that I wore today with you. I only really wear neutral and dark colours, but my mum talked me into buying this dress from New Look. It was on sale at £12 so I snapped it up. The dress is Bright pink and Orange, and has a rope belt around the middle. I wore my Primark Moccasin style shoes which I bought for £8. I then added my Pink Juicy Couture watch and crystal bracelet.

Review- Colorsport 30 day mascara

Monday, 28 May 2012

Hello guys, this is a review about the Colorsport 30 day mascara. I bought this from Boots for £5.50. There are two colours available of this product 'dark brown' and 'black.' This kit is to dye eyelashes and eyebrows. The kit includes an applicator, dye cream and developer liquid. I bought this kit in dark brown as I wanted to use it to dye my eyebrows, because I've been longing for thicker eyebrows and since my brows are quite fair some of the hairs can't be seen well.

The above picture is a 'before' shot (excuse the unpluckedness)

I mixed the dye cream and developer liquid in the tray which was supplied, the products weren't easy to mix together as the dye cream is quite thick. When I had everything mixed to a good consistency then I applied the dye to my eyebrows using a cotton bud (as the applicator is rubbish in my opinion.) I left the dye on for a good ten minutes as recommended.

This is what my brows look like now, they look so much thicker and darker than they did before and I am really pleased with the result. This product only cost £5.50 and can be used for up to 16 application, in the salon it costs around £5 per time for brow dying. This product is so good and so cheap that I will definitely be buying it again, the dye should last for around a month but even if it only lasts for a couple of weeks then I will still be impressed!

Shona xx

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